If the alienating parent is otherwise loving, attentive, involved, competent and very important to the child, a parallel parenting arrangement may be considered appropriate as a means of safeguarding the other party’s role in the child’s life. (c) Evidence of alienation by one parent. On the other hand, where there is extensive conflict between the parties, but both are equally competent and loving parents and are able at times to focus jointly on the best interests of the child, a parallel parenting regime may be ordered. Where one parent is clearly more competent, responsible and attentive than the other, this may support a sole custody arrangement. (b) The relative parenting abilities of each parent, and their capacity to make decisions that are in the child’s best interests. In almost all cases where parallel parenting has been ordered, both parents have consistently played a significant role in the child’s life on all levels. (a) The strength of the parties’ ties to the child, and the general level of involvement of each parent in the child’s parenting and life. T.S., 2011 ONSC, The Honourable Chappel’s review of the case law suggested the following factors as particularly relevant in determining whether a parallel parenting regime, rather than sole custody is appropriate: Parallel parenting, with a detailed parenting schedule, is usually a viable solution as it does not require the same level of co-operation that joint custody demands. Parallel parenting is a parenting arrangement that has evolved to deal with high conflict cases where neither a sole custody order to one parent nor a cooperative joint custody is a viable option. The other form of parenting that is emerging that is suitable in high conflict cases is parallel parenting. In recent years, courts have made orders for shared custody where both parents parent the children equally with respect to time sharing and decision making. The other form is split custody where each parent makes all major decision with the respect child or children in his or her primary care. Most importantly, parents want to show their children that they can work together for the children’s benefit and longterm well-being.The two most common forms of parenting orders are sole custody where one parent makes all major decisions relating to the children or joint custody where both parents make decisions jointly. The key to successful co-parenting and parallel parenting after divorce is to keep it child-focused and to maintain a cordial relationship with your ex-spouse. Parents use a shared calendar and a communication app, for example, Our Family Wizard.Parents do not share personal information with the other parent.Parents adhere to the custody agreement, unless there is a written agreement.Parents do not use their children as messengers in any way whatsoever.Communication must be business-like and pertain to information relevant to the children’s well being.Children who see their parents cooperate, establish a life-long pattern of healthy interpersonal and conflict resolution skills.Įxamples of parallel parenting guidelines can include but not limited to: Children who maintain a close bond with both parents are more likely to have increased feelings of worthiness and belonging and develop emotional intelligence that lasts well into adulthood. The most important benefit of this is that children feel a sense of security. Research supports that this arrangement protects the children from being placed in the middle and shields them from the conflict. Parallel parenting makes clear that both parents are equally important in the child’s life regardless of the hostility and acrimony between them. Ultimately, parents put aside hostilities in order to remain child-focused and move toward more direct communication and collaboration that is beneficial to the children.
This is to allow for time to pass to slowly rebuild trust, resolution, and cooperation. Parallel parenting is recommended in high-conflict family situations, but usually not recommended long-term. Usually, parents agree on major decisions, but separately decide on the day-to-day decisions while one parent is in charge (aka parent-in-charge). Parents may assume decision making authority in different domains (for example, one parent may be responsible for medical decisions and the other, educational). Parents are disengaged from one another, although remain fully connected to their children. For high-conflict families, parallel parenting provides an opportunity for co-parenting to occur without engaging with one another.
#Parallel parenting professional#
A parallel parenting plan must be in place with support from a neutral professional either in the mental health or legal field.
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